Under fire for being himself, Rahul Gandhi denied allegations that he is yet again demonstrating an uncanny natural flair to be a shameless, deceitful, nauseatingly hypocritical and glibly opportunistic vulture.
It is not true that I am a shameless, deceitful, nauseatingly hypocritical and glibly opportunistic vulture.
Rahul Gandhi, Presumptive Rightful Owner, India
When pressed as to whether the pursuit of human rights and political activism should be devoid of selectivity, bias, duplicity, and the broader fraudulent odium for which his family is widely known, Gandhi rolled his nose, sniffed and said:
Opium ? Did somebody just say opium ?
All of a sudden, to our utter shock, Gandhi fell down and started rolling on the ground. Before we could see if he was ok, an exasperated assistant frantically waved his hands and handed him a phone. Gandhi accidentally answered the call with the speakerphone on:
Eh eh eh! I’m watching you live. I said fall when the policeman is next to you and camera on. Stop spoiling our family reputation. Va fan culo, cretino stupido!
Mystery Caller
Editor’s note: whilst this is a satirical piece, we take this opportunity to remind select, entitled politicians that the Indian public have twice rejected your abhorrent brand of deceitful politics, in the two largest electoral mandates in human history. Do try to come to terms with the truth that the majority of India despises you for what you have done to our nation, and that your contemptible opportunism over the death of a young girl will haunt you for years to come. Not because you have a soul and will feel any shame or guilt for it. But because the Indian public will punish you even further for this latest episode of diabolical chicanery.
Shame on you.
